At first I refrained from commenting on this entire situation, but the absurdity of it all became a bit too much. Here is a man, who has made serving the cause of liberty his first priority, and how do the people of the party repay him? To match this, I have picked a literary format equally as absurd – poetry – to express my thoughts on the subject.
Oh please, dear Republicans, continue to judge,
Denounce, declaim, and throw lots of fudge.
Of the bearded activist Ryan you do not approve,
His crimes and evils you seek to prove.
You dug up an old tale from twenty twelve,
To find this, very deep you had to delve.
The bearded Ryan just does not fit in
With all you fat, bald, old white men.
You wonder why the youth have no time for the GOP;
’tis because most of you need assistance to pee.
You do not care about violence more than you must,
But activist Ryan, his butt you must bust.
Not because he did anything exceedingly bad,
But his brand of real liberty makes you mad.
You claim to support freedom at every turn,
Yet when it is proposed, with anger you burn.
If Ryan had his way your religion will not be forced;
The Church and the State will finally be divorced.
This is the reason why activist Ryan is so opposed,
The movement against him is of mediocrity composed.
From all other things his past is a mere distraction,
Through which the partisans desire his extraction.
They wish also for the resignation of good Chairman Brogdon,
Instead of offering, like real Christians, a humble pardon.